Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

"Sticks and stones may break my bones......" Everyone, I think, knows the rest of this expression, because they have all been told this at some point or another in their lives. I certainly was. ".....but words will never hurt me."

The idea behind this mantra is simple enough: I will not allow someone's words to hurt me. I will not allow myself to be destroyed or brought down by what some one else says to me or about me.

It's a nice idea, but clearly, the issue is not that easy. Scripture tells us - God Himself tells us - that words can build up, or they can destroy. The things we say to people have the power to bring healing or to bring fresh wounds.

When we hear an expression such as "sticks and stones may break my bones," I think the effect is that we come to believe that that is the way it is supposed to be. We believe that we shouldn't be hurt by the words people say, and some - like me - may believe that because we are hurt by reckless words, there is something wrong with us. We believe we should be stronger somehow. We should be able to brush it off. We may also come to the understanding that it is okay to talk badly of someone or to someone, because after all, they won't be hurt by it. Obviously, this is a bold contradiction of God's Word. God tells us that words hurt. That is the truth.

We start down a slippery slope when we quote the words of man over the words of God.

Father God,
I know that my words have hurt people, just as I still carry the scars from words others have carelessly spoken. Forgive me for allowing reckless words to escape my lips. Help me to understand, too, that when I am hurt by others' words there is nothing wrong with me; rather, I have been pierced like a sword. Convict me of clinging to the wisdom of men over Your pure truth. Change my heart, and allow me to heal.
Amen

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Just a few days ago, there was a news story about a deputy who was fired because of a scandal that he may have been involved in. The media made this juicy story it's headline. It really doesn't matter if the allegations are true or not, someone leaked an email to press, and a man's name has been dragged through the mud. It matters little if he was or was not involved in this scandal. The media has reported it, so it must be the truth. In its quest to "report the news," a man's life has been irretrievably broken.

This story reminds me of Proverbs 12:18; "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." When people gossip or slander others, the wounds inflicted can be as bad, if not worse, than physical wounds. I think that we tend to forget that one the words are out there, they cannot be taken back, and one they are out there, they can inflict serious damage to a relationship.

I am guilty of listening to gossip and sometimes repeating it. Oftentimes, the gossip is lies or half-truths; but if I am honest with myself, I must admit that sometimes I find myself reveling in the misery of others. Gossip has caused me to get angry over job promotions. Rather then ignore what I knew to be foolish rhetoric, I got angry and brought my anger home with me. Because I chose to listen to, and engage in the gossip, I let it get the better of me and it affected my home life.

Gossip and slander can lead to broken friendships, broken marriages, and long lasting bitterness. I also admit that I have harbored ill will towards some people who have slandered me. In one case, the bitterness goes back 18 years. I know that this is wrong, and that I should forgive the person who wronged me, but I find it very difficult. I realize that this shows that I a spiritually immature, but it also serves as a reminder to me that talking about others can cause harm that goes well beyond hurt feelings.

It is my desire that I remember how I have felt in the past, and the feelings that I still harbor, would be a reminder that it isn't nice to be on the receiving end of gossip and slanderous talk. If it doesn't feel good being on the receiving end of the vile talk, then I should remember to think of others feelings before I engage in the hurtful behavior. My mother's advice that "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all" and "it is better to keep you mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and erase all doubt" would cause me to pause before I engage in gossip and slanderous talk about others.

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Father God,
I ask you to forgive me, I have not loved people the way You want me to. I have participated in gossip. Sometimes I just "listen" to the gossip, but do I take a stand and say that gossip is wrong, or do I defend the person being gossiped about?

Proverbs 16:28:
A perverse man stirs up dissension,
And a gossip separates close friends.

We are all designed to be in relationship with each other, and if gossip separates us, then why do we do it? To gossip about another person is to tear down the person's reputation, to show a lack of respect, and can cause harm to the other person. God calls us to love each other, not through our own human strength, but through the strength that He gives us.
I have been reading Corrie ten Boom's book, Tramp for the Lord, which is a sequel to her book, The Hiding Place. Corrie was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during WWII for helping Jews escape from Holland. While in prison, her whole family was all killed as a result of horrible inhumane treatment.
After being released from the concentration camp, Corrie traveled the world telling people about God's love and forgiveness. What is amazing is that she also took her message to Germany, which was the same country where she had suffered so horribly in the concentration camp.
After one particular speaking engagement, she came face to face with the same German guard who had severely beaten her sister, Betsie.. The guard recognized Corrie and offered his hand to Corrie as a token of reconciliation and forgiveness.
At that point, Corrie recognized that in her own human strength, she could not force herself to reach out and accept the man's hand. In the midst of her struggle, she stopped and prayed for God to give her His love for the man. She was then able to reach out and grasp the man's hand as acknowledgement of forgiveness..
Corrie ten Boom did not get to choose the people that God called her to love. Surely, if anyone had an "excuse" to slander, to tear down another person, she did. If Corrie ten Boom can reach out her hand in love, can we also love the people that God has placed in our lives?

Prayer:
Jesus, in our sin and brokenness, you reached out your hands to us by having both hands nailed to a cross. Help us to reach out our hands to each other through the power of Your love.

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