 |
|
|
« March 30, 2008 - April 05, 2008 |
Main
| May 04, 2008 - May 10, 2008 »
After all the years I've spent wondering "WHY, exactly, am I here and WHAT, exactly, am I supposed to be DOING and, furthermore, WHEN -- please, give me an ETA here -- am I going to ARRIVE, get caught actually FULFILLING my life's PURPOSE?" -- it finally begins to make sense to my reluctant human spirit. God's WORD, which is the lamp by which everything is revealed and the light I continually move toward, tells me that God has already completed the hard work. Only by His grace am I able to navigate through this life, but, He does not stop there! I am His workmanship, HAND-CRAFTED by the Creator of all for His good works!
The notes written years ago, by slow-to-learn me, in the margin of my Bible, beside Ephesians 2:8-10, reference Philippians 1:6, which tells me to "be confident" that God started His work in me AND He will FINISH His work in me ... period! And, if God revealed all of our path to us all at once? Well, we'd just be too overwhelmed!
So, maybe, just maybe, what God wants of us is not to worry so much about DOING, but rather BEING who He made us to be. That, of course, will involve all of our daily doings: "What does the Lord ask of you? To act justly, to love tenderly, mercifully, and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8) BE just. BE loving. BE humble and WALK with God.
These thoughts seem simple enough, but how often we regress and try to control our lives or wish things were different, forgetting that God already knows our path. If we will just be faithful to seek that path, how much more at peace we will be. Each of us has our own talents, our own strengths, given to us to make the best of even our most simple and routine tasks. If our talents are a sort of muscle, the more we use them in the most mundane tasks, the easiest exercises, the stronger they will become for the harder, bigger accomplishments. It seems instead that we are constantly seeking what we have already been given, paying no attention to and forgetting the Light for the path that God sees so clearly. 19th century novelist Henry James said it well, "To take what there is, and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived -- to dig deep into the actual and get something out of that -- this doubtless is the right way to live."
Please, Lord, teach me to live in the Light of the World, the same Light that illuminates my own personal path.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
I have struggled with my self-esteem all my life. Since beginning my journey with the Lord, this struggle looks different than it did before, but it has not gone away. For several years now, my prayer (especially in the really low times) has been that God would help me to see myself the way He does. "If I can see myself through Your eyes," I reasoned with Him, "there's no way I can dislike myself."
About two years ago, God gave me a glimpse into what He sees when He looks at me, and it was life-changing.
In a random moment of clarity, I saw myself as a precious creation. I saw myself as a little bundle of special characteristics chosen especially for me by my Creator. I realized that I am the way that I am - introverted, shy, analytical, and sensitive - because God chose to make me this way. The way that I am is no accident. God literally had every characteristic, every feature in the world to choose from but He chose only certain ones to make up this child.
He made me this way on purpose, because He has something He needs for me to do. He didn't randomly put together different attributes in an experiment. He didn't wonder what I might be like. He knew what I would be like....what choices I would make....what fears and weaknesses I would have....and chose to make me that way so that I could accomplish the unique purpose He has for me on earth.
Isn't that amazing? He has a reason for me being here. He has a mission for me to complete. He has something He wants to say through my life, and He made me - little old me - so that I would be perfectly equipped to do just that.
Father, You have a mission and a plan for my life. Move me out of the way so that You can do what You need to do through me. Use me, Lord. Help me be available to do the work You planned for me to do. Amen.
I was thinking this week about Esther and the great thing she did for her people. It struck me that nowhere in the story did it appear that Esther ever demeaned herself to accomplish what she needed to in order to save her people. It seemed to me that she kept her grace and perseverance. Esther didn't know what she would be called to do, or where her life with King Xerxes would lead, but accepted her role and kept her graciousness the whole time. We don't read that she created any controversy or chaos; but when it came time for her to make a change--she knew how to utilize her network in order to create the desired effect, and didn't hesitate.
I also thought about all the "coincidences" in the story-- Esther chose to not disclose she was a Jew, King Xerxes spontaneously decided to read "the news." God is never mentioned in the Book of Esther, but I know who was behind it all... A coincidence is something for which God wishes to remain anonymous.
I read that the name Esther is derived from str which in Hebrew means "hidden". The translation from Persian is "bright star". So here is Esther, a hidden star, going about the business of life, waiting for her chance to shine.
There is a physics phenomenon called "the butterfly effect". The idea is that some systems are so sensitive that a small adjustment in initial conditions can dramatically change what happens later. The famous example of this theory is that a butterfly can flap its wings and transform weather conditions worldwide. So maybe Esther came out of her chrysalis just in time to make a dramatic change.
God, help me to come out of my cocoon and create the effect You have planned. I have been hiding too long behind fear and shame and insecurity. Deep inside of me, I know You have placed the will and the knowledge for me to really say something with my life. I don't have to do anything monumental. Maybe just a small adjustment in my part of the world...Guide me here Lord. Open my mind and my heart to the possibilities. Help me be receptive so that when it's time for me to fly, I'll know it. Amen.
"Here is my classroom; here is the water fountain; here is the--" I sputtered while breathlessly pulling my mother along the well worn halls of National Hills Elementary School. To a precocious second grader on the honor roll, it was the most important night of all, Parents' Night.
"What are these, dear?" she asked.
"Those are the penguins we made out of construction paper and toilet paper rolls, Mom. We were learning about the North Pole."
"I wonder who made this one," she mused as she pulled out a peculiar penguin whose head was cocked as if telling a joke.
"I don't care," I thought, "Its eyes and beak are crooked. It's not 'right.'"
To my chagrin and eight year old perfectionist horror, she turned the penguin around to reveal my name on the back. I'll never forget the sinking feeling in my stomach. How could that be mine?
"This is my favorite one. It has personality! I liked it even before I knew it was yours," my mother retorted in response to my doomed expression.
"Personality?" I asked sheepishly.
"Yes, it has a certain sparkle that sets it apart from all of the other penguins. What you see as a crooked beak, I see as a penguin that has a little more to say than the others. Maybe he can even tell you a little something extra about the North Pole."
Reading:
Exodus 4: 10-16
Prayer:
Most Ingenious Creator,
Thank you for naming us your masterpiece. As imperfect as we feel and as often as we attempt to force your creation, thank you for reminding us that we are inspired and created by You. Thank you for creating us with personality--with quirks that set us apart. We are grateful that You instill us with unique needs, desires, and yearnings in order for us to seek out your Kingdom--as well as your other Creations.
Thank you for expecting (and planning) just more than we feel capable of achieving--so that we ask for you and know you are with us, God. Thank you for entering into a dialogue with us even when we respond to fear and obstacles by doubting You, the one who made us and knows us best. We marvel that you have walked our walk, and that you walk with us today. Use our weakness and imperfection toward your purpose so that all may know they are worthy of being a vital part your story. Raise our resolve to move toward your extraordinary will with confidence.
Amen
What amazes me is not that He made me......but that of all the things He made, I am considered His masterpiece. I am His greatest work. I am the one He's most proud of.
More than the Himalayas. More than the Pacific. More than the Grand Canyon or the stars or the intricate petals of a flower.
Were He to show off His creation, I'd be what He couldn't wait to show. I'd be the part He'd be most excited to share. How can that be?
God, You are incredible. I cannot understand how You can be so phenomenal and still consider me Your masterpiece. Me! I don't feel like a masterpiece. I feel like a mess. Help me to understand how You treasure me, and how high Your hopes are for me.
|
|
|
