~Psalm 40:1-11, 16 (Contemporary English Version
I patiently waited, Lord, for you to hear my prayer. You listened and pulled me from a lonely pit full of mud and mire. You let me stand on a rock with my feet firm, and you gave me a new song, A song of praise to you. Many will see this, and they will honor and trust you, the Lord God. You bless all of those who trust You, Lord, and refuse to worship idols or follow false gods. You, Lord God, have done many wonderful things, You have planned marvelous things for us. No one is like you! I would never be able to tell all you have done. Sacrifices and offerings are not what please you; Gifts and payment for sin are not what you demand. You made me willing to listen and obey. And so, I said, "I am here to do what is written about me in the book, Where it says, 'I enjoy pleasing you. Your Law is in my heart.' "When your people worshiped, you know I told them, "Our Lord always helps!" When all your people met, I did not keep silent. I said, "Our Lord is kind. He is faithful and caring, and He saves us." You, Lord, never fail to have pity on me; Your love and faithfulness always keep me secure. Our Lord, let your worshipers rejoice and be glad. They love you for saving them, so let them always say, "The Lord is wonderful!"

"My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness." Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size--abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. ~2 Corinthians 12:9 (MSG)

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At Gethsemane (Mark 14:32-42), Jesus states "my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." A traditional reading of this episode is that Jesus is preparing to take on all the sins of mankind during his Passion and Crucifixion. One can also interpret this event as a "dark night of the soul," an event which also has been described in the lives of mystics such as John of the Cross who have sought full union with God. While many Christians will argue with the second approach, if we look at Jesus' life as an example for our own, I think it is likely that Jesus was showing us "the way" that we would also need to follow in order to take the path into union with the Father. The experience of similar "afflictions" in our own life can occur as we take up a contemplative path such as Centering Prayer. This does not sound like much fun. However, if we can fully surrender to the will of God, as Jesus does with the words "Yet not what I will, but what you will", there is an opening through the suffering and death of the false self into the abundant life of the Kingdom of God here and now. Having a community of support (that won't fall asleep on you!) if these afflictions do occur can be of tremendous help. Father, help us to be there for one another as we move along the path.

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Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39)

Obedience. It has a childlike connotation, doesn't it? We usually imagine a child, and the word "obedience" usually only comes up if the child is extraordinarily obedient or abhorrently disobedient. The parents of an obedient child need only tell their child what he or she needs to do, and it is as good as done.

What we often don't associate with obedience, though, a grown man of 33 years, struggling with the tension between wanting to obey and please his Father and the knowledge that what he is being asked to do will, literally, be the death of him. We usually think that obedience comes without hesitation, without question, and we never really think that obedience will lead to death. If anything, we believe just the opposite.

When we see obedience that way--and especially the obedience of Jesus in dying on the cross--we set ourselves up for failure. We are human. There will be things that we are asked or led to do that we do not want to do. There will be unpleasant things we have to do every day--what was yours today? God--in His sovereignty and wisdom--will lead us to unpleasant and uncomfortable things as He shapes and molds us into the people He wants us to be. It is inevitable. We won't want to do everything He asks. It won't all look like fun.

If we think that we are only obedient to God if we proceed without hesitation, we are never going to feel that we are good enough. We will never feel that we have done enough.

The important thing, though, is to remember that Jesus--God in the flesh--struggled with wanting to do what he was asked to do, but ultimately, when he was not given a way out, he stepped forward in bold obedience and did what his Father had asked him to do.

We can ask nothing more of ourselves than that.

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If You Want Me To, by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

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Heavenly Father,

You are good. You are so, so good. I believe that, and I believe You when You tell me that You will never leave me, never forsake me, and that Y never hurt me. I believe that You love me.

I believe that. I do.

As much as I believe that, though, it is hard for me to imagine such utter obedience that I would do all that You lead me to do. I am selfish, worldly, and comfortable. I don't want to do things that shake up my world.

But God, I know what You were willing to do for me. I know the extent of Your Son's obedience to You, and I know that the only reason I am alive today is that he was willing to obey You. Lord, thank You for that kind of obedience.
Thank You for that kind of a model. Thank You for showing me--through Your Son--what it really means to obey, and thank You for letting me know that obedience leads to blessings from You.

Father, help me to learn from Jesus' example. Help me to follow his lead and obey You even when it looks impossible. Help me to trust You and not try to take my own path.

Thank You for knowing what I need, and for helping me to understand Your heart. Teach me more, God, that I will love You more and desire a more complete obedience from myself.

I love You.

Amen

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