Unfortunately, there are times when a marriage or a serious relationship doesn't work out. When this happens, the pain and anguish can be unbearable and as intense as a physical injury. I often wonder why God would allow divorce to happen, as well as the resulting pain and brokenness. I have realized that God does not cause divorce or brokenness; it is a result of humans being human. I also realize that Jesus has experienced pain and brokenness. He was denied by his friends. He was mocked and then crucified.

Pain, anguish, and brokenness are real emotions caused when relationships fail. It can seem if there has been the death of a loved one. God knows we experience this and he knows that Jesus experienced this. But God also has a plan that can heal us. It may take time, but the pain and the brokenness can be healed.

The first step in the process to heal pain and brokenness, for me at least, is forgiveness. We must learn to forgive others, as well as ourselves, just as Jesus forgave us when he died on the cross. We must also pray, and have others pray, so that the healing process can begin. James 5:13-15 says that we must pray for ourselves and that we should ask others to pray for us.

The healing process may take a long time. We have all struggled. We have all experienced the pain. I have found that knowing and believing that God knows what we are going through (He went through it) and that God can take a bad situation and make it good (He did it on the cross) helps me in my dark times. Pray. Ask others to pray for you. A short prayer that I like to recite daily is found in Psalm 25:1-2:

My prayer for each of us is that we pray to God and ask him to provide healing and to keep our enemies from triumphing over us.

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Read Hebrews 4:14-16

"Nobody understands." I wish I knew how many times I have said that in my life, and I wish I could go back to each of those times and tell myself, "Yes! Someone does understand!"

We can get a little arrogant sometimes. We think that what we're going through is completely unique. We believe that no one has ever endured this situation before and that no one has ever felt the pain we're feeling. We believe that no one can even understand what we say we're going through.

What we fail remember is that someone does understand. Someone does get it. Someone has been there. The Bible tells us that Jesus went through ever imaginable temptation and hardship so that He could know what we're going through, and so that He could comfort us when we need it. This applies just as much to relationships as to any other circumstance life could hand us. Jesus had friends, just like we do. He had to deal with the highs and lows of relationships, just like we do. Some of Jesus' friends didn't believe who He was, some were demanding of Him, some would never leave Him alone, and some really just didn't understand Him. One of his closest friends even handed Him over to die!

So yes, Jesus understands. He knows where you are, how you're feeling, and that there is hope. He endured all of those things intentionally, so that He would know what it's like for us to go through this life. He knows, He cares, and He wants to help us through it.

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Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven--healed inside and out. James 5:13-15 MSG

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 NIV

There is no pain quite like the pain so many people experience when a relationship fails or threatens to fail. When you place so much trust in another person, there are many opportunities to be wounded by them. Our society is riddled with divorce. Pop-culture gleefully displays failed marriage after failed marriage on TV and super-market tabloids and consumers devour stories such as Brad, Jennifer and Angela. Why? Perhaps it is because we do not want to suffer alone.

Fortunately, we do not have to suffer alone. God has given us hope for every situation. God's word, the Bible, is full of examples of what to do when we suffer and encourage stories of how we are not alone. James 5:13 tells us to pray when we are hurting and Isaiah 53 encourages us because we see that Jesus understands our pain and our hurt. Even better, the verse from Isaiah lifts us up because we have already been healed by Jesus.

God in is infinite wisdom has provided for every circumstance in our lives. Even if our suffering is our own making, we see that we can find joy in God, even if joy is horribly absent from our lives. However, to be restored we must yield to God's wisdom, not society's. If you are hurt and suffering be challenged by these verses and find rest and peace in God.

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There are times in life when relationships don't work out. Sometimes marital relationships end in divorce and sometimes friendships just don't work out. In some point in our life we have all experienced a broken relationship. So what do we do with these broken relationships?

All throughout the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) we see Jesus healing people of their brokenness. I think the same healing is available to us if we are willing to allow Jesus to heal us. When I was in the 4th grade my parents got a divorce and I have seen Jesus heal me from that experience. I am not saying that I don't think about it any more or that I have forgotten it but I am saying that Jesus has brought healing to my heart. I could have spent the past 15 years bitter at both of my parents and God for that matter but I have tried to allow the Lord to heal me. Looking back I can see that the Lord took that broken relationship and used it to make me who I am today.

I think one of the most amazing accounts of Jesus healing someone is in John 4. In this account Jesus is talking to a woman who has experienced broken relationships. Jesus does not judge the woman on what she has done rather He offers her healing. This woman did not have to accept the healing that was offered to her but she did. In the same way you and I don't have to accept the healing that is offered to us in Jesus. I am here to tell you that if it were not for the healing that comes from Jesus I don't know where I would be today.

Have you accepted the healing that Jesus is offering you? We have all experienced a broken relationship but we don't have to carry the burden of it any more. Jesus came to carry our burdens for us. Are you willing to give Him your burden?

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4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, "Lazarus's sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this."
39 "Roll the stone aside," Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man's sister, protested, "Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible."
40 Jesus responded, "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe?"
John 11:4, 39-40

In the story of Lazarus, we see an incredible example of how God works. Jesus had been summoned by Mary, telling him that Lazarus was sick. We see Jesus' response in verse 4 above, and then Jesus delayed his return for two more days. By the time Jesus arrived back in Bethany, Lazarus was buried and dead long enough for there to be a stench. The bible reveals that Lazarus had to die in order to show that Jesus could bring him back to life.

Sometimes even in relationships, if God is to bring you back to life after a broken relationship, the world needs to see that the relationship is really dead. God can heal if we allow him to use our broken lives as a demonstration of how he can resurrect and bring new life.

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